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Thursday, September 25, 2008 12:29 AM
The crazy English Language. This is cool. I don't know if you guys have read it before but hell, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! The Crazy English Language There is no egg in egglant, Neither pine or apple in pineapple, And no ham in hamburger, English muffins weren't invented in England, Nor french fries in France. We take English for granted, But when we explore its paradoxes, We find that quicksand can work slowly, Boxing rings are square, Cases where patients are impatient, And you can lie while your standing, Or sit while you're lying, Has anyone heard of heavy light, by the way? And why is that a writer writes, a singer sings But fingers don't fing. And grocers groce, And hammers dont ham? If the plural for tooth is teeth, Shouldn't the plural for booth is beeth? One goose, 2 geese, One moose, 2 meese? And why not if the plural mouse is mice, The plural of house is hice? I think all English speakers Should be committed to asylum, For the verbally insane. In what other language Do people park in driveway, Have noses that run, Be happy but not GAY, When feeling happy is feeling GAY. How can quite a lot And quite a few be the same? While a wise man And a wise guy are opposites? How can one hang up while things hang down. You have to marvel, At the unique lunacy of language, In which your house can burn up, As it burns down. In which u fill in form, by filling it out? Or sit up while your sitting down. In conclusion, May i say, That the craziness in English, Is a mere reflection, Of the creativity of the human race, Which of course, Isn't really a race at all! That is why, When the stars are out, They are visible, But when the lights are out, They are invisible, And why, When I wind up my watch, I start it, But when i wind up this Article, I end it. |
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